


The In Between

by flutterpen



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 07:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4911001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flutterpen/pseuds/flutterpen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What does Flutter do after the Lost Light leaves without her? What happens to change her? How does one deal with thinking their one love is lost to them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Flutter is my own character. My muse. And seeing as how the dragonfly and I are editing another story with her, that take place after this I decided to see about posting it, rather than inserting long explanations of scenes I haven't even written yet. Also might get me to working on the scenes some more

Flutter watched as the Lost light took off and then exploded. Rodimus and Ultra Magnus along with Ratchet gone. Just like that. She sank to the ground. Except for Callista with Springer on the station somewhere out there she was alone.

She nearly jumped feeling a hand on her shoulder. “You’re not alone,” the voice said. “You have other friends and family, maybe not as close as them. I saw your field.” Jazz smiled at her reassuringly. Not far off Prowl watched his friend with Flutter. Bumblebee looked elsewhere distracted or otherwise. She felt the reassurance from his field and leaned on him to cry as he rubbed her back near her rotor base.

::If I had known Ratchet was going, I would have went ahead and tried to talk her into going,:: Bee said privately to Prowl.

::I had a report that Rodimus tried to talk her into going. A short heated argument ensued. He left saying it was over. Something I did not really see.:: Prowl replied. 

Bee looked at him, frowning. ::And Ultra and Ratchet were like family, I know. I have things to do as do you, leave Jazz to take care of her.::

Jazz nodded at Prowl’s message, he would be in his office, cleaning up. “Let’s get something to drink and talk,” he said. ::You get upset again, Prowl?::

::Chromedome and Rewind were on the Lost light,:: Prowl said. As was his chance to learn something from Overlord.

Jazz guided her to a little engex cafe ordering a regular grade for her and a small high grade for himself. “You’re missing Rodimus?” he asked quietly.

“Wish I had gone with him now,” she said. “I was just... just felt like he was taking the easy track.”

“I think searching for the knights is a bit harder, since we don’t know where and if they exist,” Jazz said.

“Maybe,” Flutter said taking a sip of her regular grade engex. 

Jazz reached out touching her hands. “How is your clinic?” he asked. The femme had opened a clinic at Ratchet’s suggestion since the main clinic was near the western edge of new Iacon.

“It’s okay, I guess. Though for some of my patients it’s like there never was a war,” she said. “They fight over who is more important, who should see me soonest. Lot of my time I have to threaten to hit them to get them to sit down and be quiet.”

Jazz cringed. “Well with Ratchet’s training you can handle it, seems,” he said. 

“Yeah, though how much longer? I have to wonder how Ratchet put up with it for so long,” Flutter said.

“He was cranky but he had Orion’s help,” Jazz said.

“Then Optimus’,” Flutter said and thinking about Optimus Prime made her think about Rodimus and she felt on the verge of tears. As much as she knew that not being bonded to him was better than if they had bonded. She missed him so much. Her close friend she could talk to or just go to be held and cuddled, kissed. He was good at cheering her up, showing her a fun time, dancing or just joking around. She had loved watching him race around Iacon before they had to leave Cybertron when he wasn’t on missions. She had always looked forward to welcoming him back after debriefings.

Ultra she could go to talk over things, problems. He would normally suggest legal solutions, restriction orders or such. Then there was the talks about fragging Rodimus, who thought she didn’t know. She didn’t mind it. A mech needed to blow off charge and she wasn’t always there to help.

And Ratchet could remind her of medical solutions to problems that she had forgotten about.   
Along with the lessons on how to not let patients or non patients order her around like the courier frame she had gotten from her carrier. 

She made a mental note to see about visiting Springer and Callista on the station sometime soon. Close the clinic up temporarily and take a vacation. She could talk to the femme seeker about femme things. Have fun. Even talk to Springer whispering secrets, that hopefully he wouldn’t hear.


	2. Impatient Patients

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things haven't changed much on Cybertron. Some of the old problems are coming back.

Flutter tried to ignore the buzz outside as she examined her patient. Ratchet had taught her to hear and feel using her senses when it came to patients. But the one on the medberth was sedated leaving her to listen to the noise getting louder from the clinic’s waiting room. Then her hands slipped, the bit of debris slipped from her fingers and she stopped herself before just plunging back in to retrieve the piece, damaging her patient more.

::Buzzer, get them to quiet down. I am operating here and I can practically hear them,:: she said to the minibot who worked as nurse and receptionist at the moment as Filer was out on a family emergency.

Buzzer didn’t respond which truly worried Flutter. Buzzer loved talking but he knew not to talk when any of them were busy with a patient especially now. Should she finish or should she go now and see about Buzzer and silencing those clients. Finish the patient she finally decided, turning down how sensitive her audials were to the waiting room.

She finally had the last piece out when she heard a loud noise coming, then another. She vented a sigh, putting in the nanites to finish the repairs, putting the armor back on slowly and letting the patient come back to alertness. “I have just to check on something. Stay here please.” she said.

What she found was close to chaotic. patients fighting. Buzzer was unconscious. She went to check on him first. Just a large dent, some red paint scraped on his yellow armor. He was slowly coming back online.

“I should have priority to see the doctor before you,” a patient sniffed behind her. Flutter reached to pull out a wrench in case she needed it... oh she needed it even as she felt someone picking her up. She squirmed and kicked till she was dumped in the midst of it. She looked around, feeling anger, impatience, overconfidence and even a bit of smugness in the fields. She made a note to work on her fighting just in case.

“I see who has the appointment unless the matter is urgent,” she growled whirling around to look at all of them, making notes of designations. “This is not the old Cybertron. There is no senate.” A grumble of voices. “Don’t like it, you can leave now.”

 

“Sound like an Autobot sympathizer,” someone grumbled. A figure came up behind her but she whirled around the wrench still in her hand. But the mech, a new patient wrestled and pulled it out of her hand, grinning. She reached in her subspace for one of her blades. She hated to use weapons in the clinic but if she needed to she was willing to use it on him.

“The war is over,” she said. “All are equal here.” He didn’t seem affected by the lines so she twisted her free wrist and let the blade go. it hit him and then bounced off a wall, clattering to the floor. So very out of practice, but she wasn’t about to give up yet.

“Ah, all out of weapons, are you medic,” he said. She scanned him again and spotted the pinpoint holes between his fingers. Syk addict. They were slowly reappearing.

Flutter had her other blade but she wouldn’t pull it out unless she really needed it.

::Got your blade, boss,:: Buzzer said. ::Shall I call enforcers?::

::Not yet, though this guy seems to be one of the addicts,:: she replied.

::Okay,:: Buzzer said. 

“Circuit boosting?” Flutter said. He frowned dropping her. ::Buzz, hit him, you can find the weak spot.::

::I hear ya,:: Buzz said. There was a whirring sound and the mech dropped. Flutter quickly stepped out of the way.

::East Clinic to New Iacon Enforcement, got a circuit booster for you. He caused a disturbance.::

::Sending an enforcer, Flutter,:: the enforcer responded. Flutter sighed. Not Prowl since he had left with the Autobots after Starscream had kicked them and the Decepticons out. She remembered him trying to convince Flatline to stay. It was good that Bee and the others had a medic with them at least.

“Continuing our conversation from earlier, the rest of you. Either leave, or shut up and sit down,” Flutter said growling as Buzzer pushed himself up. Most of them quieted down looking a little frightened of her now, sat down. ::You okay Buzzer?::

::Alright I think,:: he said smiling. ::You, you alright? I know you were with a patient.::

::Just have to finish up with them and then…:: She sighed. ::The next patient. Primus help me.::

Buzzer followed her back to the room patting her back. “Here’s your blade by the way.” She took it, looked it over. Just a few small dings and put it away in her subspace.

Finished for the day, Buzzer had left, Flutter locked up the clinic. “Medic,” a voice said.

Flutter turned to see another patient. “I”m sorry the clinic is closed. Either make an appointment or go to the main clinic,” she said. He did look injured or confused but it wasn’t life threatening. Then she was just sore and tired from the day.

He walked and paced. She watched him till he disappeared around a corner.

Flutter transformed to her alt mode and flew back to the landing pad on her building. transforming she took the stairs down a floor to her apartment. She turned on the oil bath stirring it as she waited.

“Could close the clinic. It’s not like Ratchet is here to argue,” she said thinking aloud. It was a habit she slipped into when she was home. She left to put on some instrumental music and check her energon storage which was getting close to low. She could get some more after work tomorrow.

The next morning she walked needing a little more time to think. Besides she didn’t feel like flying. Her frame felt sore and warm. She started to enter the code but heard something. Was that coming from inside the clinic. Primus help her if the addict had returned so soon. finished the door opened.

“Medic,” the voice screamed. It was the mech from the evening before but with syringes sticking out of him like some odd version of an Earth porcupine. A nasty little creatures from what she had heard. His optics were reddened and out of focus. He wobbled on his pedes and came towards her giggling. His fields were flaring, pain, happiness.

::Prowl, I need an enforcer. Not an addict but well they might be soon all shot up with meds,:: she said as the patient bent his knees and jumped almost on her.

::Prowl’s not here but on my way, Flutter,:: Jazz’s voice came in.


	3. Timing is Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The patient with the needles isn't Flutter's only problem and it's about to become Jazz's problem as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't sure about this chapter was about ready to just skip it. But here goes.

Chapter 3: Timing is everything

Jazz sped through the streets. Flutter had sounded frightened, well more frightened than usual some note or tone in her voice. Prowl wouldn’t have picked up on it he thought not being much into music as Jazz was.

The door to the clinic was already open and quickly dashed in to see some mech on top of Flutter who looked like an Earth porcupine all stuck with needles.

“Flutter, you okay?” he called.

“Sort of, Dont’ know what he’s shot himself up with,” she said. The mech moved oddly slowly at first like he was high on Syk then fast the next like he was near burn out. Jazz moved quickly trying to dodge the kicks and painful punches the mech tried to throw at him. Jazz almost winced in pain at one then got a grip on the mech trying to pull him up off Flutter.

“Ugh,” Jazz said. “What did you take mech?” The mech wasn’t big just about his size still bigger than Flutter with her lithe form for flying. But he felt heavier than he looked. The mech tried to hit him again and instead hit Flutter on the cheek, he saw her optics dim out.

“Flutter?” Jazz asked. When she didn’t respond he assumed that she had been knocked offline or something worse. He placed a pede against the wall to try and get some more leverage on the mech finally pulling him off and nearly getting crushed underneath. He went over to check on Flutter. ::Hoist?::

::Office called the clinic saying you were responding to a call at Flutter’s clinic. She okay?:: the medic responded.

::Offline, Frame feels warm almost hot,:: Jazz said. ::Looks like the patient injected themself with anything they could get into. Might send someone to collect him for a cell or the clinic there.::

There was a minute or so of silence before Hoist answered back. ::Get her home, may be going into heat. We’ve had enough cases of that this week,:: the medic said. ::She should have suppressants there or…::

::Or what?:: Jazz asked though he had an idea, having broken up a number of heatfights...well actually taken the injured to the clinic afterwards. Poor Flutter with Rodimus dead those two had been so in love.

::Or you may have to just relieve her but better out there where it could be any mech,:: Hoist replied.

Jazz vented a sigh. ::Should I wait….:: he started.

::No, get her home now,:: Hoist replied. ::I’ll take care of the mech. Hopefully it is too early for him to affect her. A friend would….:: Jazz cut the comm at that a sinking feeling telling what Hoist was saying.

He waited for her to come back online and back onto her peds. She left the clinic unlocked looking at the door.

“Problem?” he asked.

“Just thinking of closing down,” she said.

“I see,” Jazz said following her down the street to her apartment. “Why you walking? You can fly, I do know where you live.”

“So you’re just making sure I get home okay,” she said. “I’m just sore.”

“Ah,” Jazz said. Another symptom of heat, he thought to himself.


	4. Get Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flutter wakes up in the main medical clinic in Iacon. Has a fight with Jazz.

Chapter four

Flutter groaned, her audials picking up the sounds of voices, the click clack of tools. The few words of medic jargon, the snores of recharging patients and wires being soldered.

“You’re awake,” she recognized the friendly voice. Hoist, One of her fellow medics, so she was in the main clinic.

“Seems so,” she said, optics still offline. She was sore everywhere, had the patient hit her that hard? “What in the Pit happened?”

“Jazz came to rescue you from a patient. We’re still trying to assess his condition. Seems he had injected himself with…” he stopped. “It also seems….” 

He...he who? Jazz or the patient? She wondered.

His voice trailed off as the first memory packet opened. 

Her soreness and uneasy tank as she walked to the clinic from her apartment. Her patient jumping her. The needles so many needles. What had he injected himself with. Her call for help. And the neediness when Jazz touched her.

No, no, no, she thought. She had been in heat. Was that why the patient attacked? Doubtful. She had only just started and...Jazz had been the one to help her.

Jazz taking her back to her apartment. Her coming up on him from behind and jumping him. His slow and gentle touch and then losing control of himself fragging her hard and fast. To feel that there and her crying not his name but Rodimus’. 

She frowned at that. It hadn’t been very fair or very nice. Not that her programming cared but it did say how much she loved and missed Rodimus. 

Jazz had been a skillful lover. Slow and gentle one moment then pounding fast the next.

Prowl oh Prowl. Jazz had moaned.

She blinked at that. Obvious and oblivious to the clues that Jazz, admired and adored was in love with one mech that didn't seem to notice him. And that thought hurt her somewhat. She shook her helm. Must be the stupor and after effects of the heat but he could have sparked her and he should be responsible. She felt herself grabbing something of the berth tightly.

“Flutter? Are you okay?” It was Hoist again. “I haven't checked to see if you're sparked. Thought I'd let you do that.” He smiled.

“Jazz?” she asked.

“He dropped you off here, said he had to file the paperwork and get back to work. Also you're not the only one in Iacon going into heat and I am not accusing you of causing it,” Hoist said. “So your memory is back?”

“Yes,” she said frowning. She would have to talk to Jazz but how long would it take her to recover? Or would he even come in to check on her. But her mind focused on other things as more memory came back. Jazz shouting Prowl’s name. Flutter could growl at that. Jazz was a good friend but what Prowl had done during the big fight. But had Prowl ever figured out how Jazz felt about him, she thought about the few times she had seen him and then him and Jazz together. Jazz’s longing looks and Prowl’s obliviousness. 

Jazz stood outside the clinic done with work for the cycle, he had been notified that she was awake. Sore and slowly regaining her memory, Hoist had said. She had been asking about you.

Jazz was still a bit confused over his feelings. He had been in love with Prowl for so long and now he had interfaced and connected to Flutter who had been in heat, who was still obviously in love with Rodimus. What must she think of him? He shook his helm and walked in, looking around. He saw Flutter sitting up, a stack of pillows behind her as she talked to Hoist.

“Hey Flutter,” he said. “See you’re sitting up at least.” She turned to look at him.

“Jazz,” she said a tone in her voice sounded off. Her field said she was a mix of angry and sorry or sympathetic. “Sorry you got caught up.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t have much control over it,” he said.

“Uh, Hoist,” Flutter said. “Can we have some time alone to talk?”

“Sure, I have other patients to check on,” Hoist replied and walked off.

“Carrying?” Jazz asked.

“Haven’t really checked,” Flutter said suddenly feeling her face plates heat up, recalling how good he was.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah...just you’re very good and Prowl doesn’t know how you feel,” she said looking at him. “I knew...everyone knows except him it seems.”

Jazz took a step back not just at what she was saying but something else. “Calm down,” he said quietly feeling embarrassed for the both of them.

“Why should I?” She growled. Hoist looked between the two.

“Perhaps you should leave. She still needs to rest,” he said looking at Jazz.

“Yeah, I can tell I can tell I'm not wanted here,” Jazz said feeling upst. He had only tried to help her he thought as he walked out of the clinic.


	5. She's Leaving Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tired of her patients, dealing with Jazz. Flutter decides to leave Cybertron and make some new memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been reading and re-reading some favorite fanfics that have inspired me to write some more of this story.
> 
> As I finished the chapter, "She's Leaving Home" by the Beatles popped into my head and it seemed like the perfect title for this chapter.

Flutter growled thinking about how patients from her clinic had started showing up and tried talking to her, while Hoist was still trying to figure out if she was carrying. She didn’t let him check and she would scare patients off. She made up her mind she was leaving the clinic, Cybertron everyone and everything. Including Jazz who did keep trying to check on her.

After a particularly trying day, she had almost used her weapons on first Jazz and then the clinic patients. She left before before they could take her blades from her.

Jazz was waiting outside the clinic, trying to build up the courage to try and talk to her again.

“Why are you leaving? You can’t be well enough yet,” he said. She transformed as he stumbled back. “Flutter?”

“Don’t want to talk to you,” she said gaining altitude as the air blew around her. She lifted up and headed for her apartment glad she had the top floor so she could take off and land there when she felt like a flight. Sometimes the sound of her blades whirling through and cutting the air could help her sleep, also help her think.

She grabbed her datapads of poetry and medical texts and holocubes, pictures of her with Springer and the Wreckers, Hot Rod and Drift. Then with Ratchet and First Aid as she studied to be a medic. A shot of the Lost Light as it left with Rodimus and without her and then the explosion. She put her few personal belongings away in her subspace and she posted about selling the apartment. 

“I know you’re in there, Flutter,” She could hear Jazz shouting as he pounded on the door. “Hoist says he didn’t release you. You need to rest and keep warm.”

 _Ignore them,_ she told herself, holding back tears as she thought about what she had lost when the ship exploded, friends, family and loved ones.

I can take care of myself, she thought. Should get a few things from the clinic. She climbed the stairs to the roof and flew to the clinic to get her medkit and some meds. 

Jazz saw her and followed her. ::I see you,:: he commed. ::Going to the clinic. You can’t take care of yourself. We’re mates, like it or not.::

::Go away, go be with your precious Prowl,:: she said as she searched the supplies for what might have been left over. Packing away the cubes of medical grade just in case she was carrying. She didn’t want to think about it just now, though she knew her tank had been rumbling and feeling not normal she hadn’t purged yet. 

_Please don’t let me purge just now,_ she said. She didn’t really want any confirmation of the possibility she was carrying. Someday she wanted to be a carrier but with Rodimus but he was gone forever. So maybe she could just grow old, alone. She bit back a sob, grabbing her medkit and putting it in her subspace. A few more things, additives, unused syringes, wires, small scrap metal for repairs, put away in her subspace she climbed the ladder to the clinic roof and just sat there.

She scanned the classifieds for ships and shuttles. _I only need a shuttle, no ships. Don’t want a crew, just myself,_ she thought and found a small shuttle she could purchase after she sold her apartment. Packing the personal belongings and medical supplies and such she left Cybertron

She finally found a small shuttle after her apartment sold. She flew to the spaceport to get the ship after she gave the new apartment owner the keycode.

“Planning on leaving, just when everyone is coming back after the war?” The old owner said.

“Been here most of my life,” Flutter said. “Want to get off and explore, now it’s safe.” Along with away from my patients, she thought, going on board to put her things away. 

After a few quick lessons in flying it, she took off with a full tank of fuel and a few suggestions of planet to go to.


End file.
